veryangrygay.blogspot.com

The End

2010-10-08T04:42:00.000-07:00

This will e my final blog entry. I am finding that daily blogging has become a drag. I am much too busy at this job to stop and devote time to this any longer.

Thinking about daily topics, finding pictures, etc., is just becoming too time consuming.

Have a great weekend!!

The Dark Night

2010-10-07T04:10:00.000-07:00

I hate fall. I always have. For me, Fall brings the cold, dead leaves, and darkness. I hate waking up when it is pitch dark out. I always have to mentaly ask myself is it really time to face the day, when the day hasn't even arrived?

For the past few weeks, it has been extremely dark when I wake up. The sun just starts to peek out from behind the night sky as I drive up Route 93 on my way to work.

This morning I realized, daylight savings time must be coming soon. I have always believed I suffer from S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I thrive in the sunshine and hate going to work in the dark and coming home in the dark, it makes me less productive and even more tired.

I hear the rain has left us, at least until next Tuesday. My plan is to try and soak up a lot of sunshine this weekend.

Have a great Thursday!

Splish Splash I was Taking a Bath

2010-10-06T05:34:00.000-07:00

Well I finally took my first bath and it was off the hook! I filled the tub with warm water, put on my chromatherapy, and turned on the jets. I had decided just to have the mood lighting on in the bathroom, plus the chromatherapy. My bathroom looked amazing. I felt like I was sitting in a someone else's house.

I slid into the tub and settled in to watch an exciting episode of House Hunters International. This is one of those unabashed decadent treats we give to ourselves, and I for one love my own present. I cannot wait until I can try my shower.

Have a great day!!

Relaxing...Not Quite Yet

2010-10-04T04:48:00.001-07:00

Well my bathroom is just about done. Raul and company came by Saturday morning and put the finishing touches on the bathroom. This is not a photo of my actual bathroom, I currently don't own a camera, but, you get the idea.

I had people over on Saturday night, so I didn't have time to try out the bathtub yet. Last night I was cleaning the tub, getting ready for my first full fledged bath, when the motor to the tub just went on by itself. I had started filling the tub with water, when the jets started shooting water all over my bathroom. I just unplugged the tub and drained the water. I will have to call Raul today.

So no bath yet, but, every day I am a little closer. This is my nirvana. It was built ane created with me in mind, and I just can't wait to try it out. I did watch the news on my tv while I shaved and got ready for work this morning. One small luxury at a time.

DreamBoat

2010-10-01T04:13:00.001-07:00

Danny and I have a restaurant that we dine at sometimes. The food is good, the location is close to my home, and the staff there is incredibly hot. I have had a crush on the owner for a little over a year and a half. Most of that time, my flirting was innocent. However, now that Marcello is out of the picture, I am free to pursue this guy.

Last night I was meeting some friends there for dinner. My guests were late so I had the opportunity to talk to this guy for like 20 minutes before they arrived. As handsome as he is on the outside, he seems even nicer on the inside. A big turn on for Daddy.

I see me having dinner again there in the very near future. I forgot how much fun it can be to have a crush on someone.

Happy Friday All!

One Landmine Side Stepped

2010-09-30T05:51:00.000-07:00

This is not my first time going through withdrawal symptoms. I am aware of the side effects both mental and physical.

You often hear that some people get irrationally angry when they are going through drug withdrawal. Luckily, I seem to have side stepped that landmine.

In an unrelated story, a colleague came into my office today, and as the woman spoke and spoke and spoke, I fantasized about taking a screwdriver and plunging it in and out of her esophogus. Ok, maybe I am a tad bit angry. This is often the catalyst that causes friends to sometimes say, hey have a cigarette, it's certainly better than you being a big bitch.

Determined to make it through this phase of smoking, I have devised some tricks to get me through the day. I have removed anything that could be a weapon from my reach. It makes writing difficult, but, at this point I am unsure if a sharp bic pen and my irrational anger make for good companions right now.I postponed a meeting with a person I find particularly annoying for fear i may snap during the meeting, and I am looking into piping in some elevator music into my office to make me a kinder gentler hr director.

Ok I have to run and shut my door as a handy man whistling outside my office and he is just asking to be beaten within an inch of his life.

Happy Thursday All....If you see me....turn the other way.

Day 2

2010-09-29T04:43:00.000-07:00

My name is TJ and I am an addict. I am addicted to nicotine. Yes this revelation is not news. As with any addict, a few cigarettes, turned to a few more, and now I am just full out smoking again, back up to a pack a day. My illness and subsequent breathing issues over the past few days, coupled with my addiction, made me feel as if I were going to die. I went to see my doctor yesterday, and have decided I need to quit....once again.

So here I am on Day 2 of being a non-smoker again. This part is easy. I physically can't smoke as I can't breathe, but, with my medication already making me feel better, I have to take steps to make sure I do not start again.

Aside from the million and one prescriptions I was given, I made my doctor throw in another round of Chantix. I didn't start yet with the medicine, I am just on the patch now. Let's see if I can kick this disgusting habit once again.

Hang on to your hats, as addiction withdrawal can make me a very very very very angry gay. So far so good.

Have a Happy and Smoke Free Hump Day!

What Has Happened to My Sleep Pattern

2010-09-28T05:08:00.000-07:00

I am not sure what has happened to me, but, I am having great difficulty sleeping.....and I really love to sleep.

This morning I was up at 3:30 and wide awake. I could not fall back asleep for the life of me. Now I am very sick at the moment, so that may have something to do with it, as I am having great difficulty breathing. But I have been having trouble sleeping for the past few months.

I took a sleeping pill at 9 last night. Went to bed at 10. Was up at 11:30 and then up again at 3:30. I can't keep functioning like this. I am very concerned I may be a bitch today.

Happy Monday, hope you all slept like babies.

3rd Finger Salute

2010-09-24T04:57:00.000-07:00

I guess it stands to reason that a very angry gay, would be the owner of a very angry cat. I think children learn what they live.

Last night I was doing laundry and fighting the never ending battle of TJ vs. Dust. I had decided to be a nice guy and give my cats their dinner, plus a fancy feast appetizer. This is a personal favorite of Pete's and he literally waits to pounce on the dish before I place it on the floor.

I looked over and I am pretty sure I saw Nina flipping one of us off. It was brief and it was fleeting, but, I think we were middle clawed. Nina has that perpetual fuck you look on her face anywhere, but, the fact that she has morphed her anger into paw gestures is somewhat unsettling.

I a contemplating a therapist for the poor girl. I think her brother's daily physical abuse is messing with her feline mind.

Have a Great Weekend!

How Nice

2010-09-23T05:30:00.000-07:00

Today, has already started off to be a nice day. I went to the store and when I was leaving the clerk said, I hope you enjoy your day! I thought that was a great way to end a conversation.

Then I pulled into Dunkin Donuts and they gave me my coffee on the house for being a good tipper...SCORE!

My day looks busy, but, not overwhelming, and I hear a rumor that everything except the faucet on the bathtub and the glass doors for my shower will be in.

I hope you all enjoy yopur day as well!

Bad Customer Service Part 400

2010-09-22T04:29:00.001-07:00

With my bathroom very near completion, I am obviously very excited to start using it. I had no idea it would take several weeks for the glass doors for my shower to arrive. So, looks like I will not be showering for another 12 days. However, the one bright spot was that Raul told me my bathtub would be working.

I had visions of myself lounging in my new tub with chromatherapy while I stare at my beautiful light we hung over the bath tub. They weren't just visions, but, I was actually excited. I haven't taken a bath in my own home in many years. When I came home from work on Thursday, Raul informed me that although the faucet and the sprayer for the tub were installed, they didn't send any handles for the hot and cold water.

I went to Home Depot to inform them about the issue. Of course, this was a special order, but, since it is a fucken $500 faucet, you would think the MENSA memebers at the warehouse could deliver the item carefully. Instead, I was told, the item I ordered is no longer in stock and I need a new item. Naturally, the new item isn't one I like as much and of course it cost more than $500. Home Depot told me they would knock $50 off the price and would pay for the Fed Ex charges. Well woo fucken doo. I had to go home and have the plumber uninstall the work he already did, and now I have to pay for him to come out an additional time to install it. I asked Home Depot why should I have to bear the cost of this when it was their mistake. They informed me it was really my mistake for not carefully inspecting the item when it arrived. I am sure you can all determine how well i received that bit of advice from Glenn my Home Depot salesman. I felt like reaching across the orange desk and punching him in his Home Depot Orange Face.

The item should be in today. I hope for Glenn's sake it is.

Happy Hump Day, hope it is free of bad customer service.

Hidden Agenda's

2010-09-21T08:38:00.001-07:00

I just wrote a long blog and the entire thing disappeared. I will leave you with a cartoon, a headline and your own thoughts.

Have a Happy Tuesday Y'All.

The Expert

2010-09-20T04:43:00.001-07:00

I think I might have mentioned once or twice on here how I like things clean. Some might say i suffer from OCD while others might say he is just one clean dapper dude. My level of clean and other people's level of clean may have varying definitions, but, being clean is something I really like. I am excellent at cleaning up messes. This has been very obvious to me during my renovation, in which my home has literally seen piles of dust invade every nook and crannie.

This weekend I again tried to tackle all of the cleaning that my home needs. However, I really need a power cleaning to be done. As any expert will tell you, part of being an expert is when you can determine when you need help.

I have decided to bring in a cleaning team, when my bathroom is completed to give my house the once over. Cleaning on top of cabinets, working Murphy's Oil Soap by hand into my battered hard wood floors, and scrubbing tile that needs to shine.

Although my bathroom is almost done, the glass walls for my shower will not be in for a few weeks. I plan to take a day off for the installation and I think that day I am going to have a cleaning crew come in and help me whip my house into shape.

Happy Monday All!

Hello Autumn

2010-09-16T04:20:00.000-07:00

Well, I certainly wasn't prepared for what was awaiting me at 5 am. Looks liek Autumn arrived, and I for one was not anticipating his arrival.

I was actually cold. I laid in bed for a few minutes with my awesome comforter wrapped all around me. Additionally, Nina spent the night with me after another terrifying evening of being trapped under the floor, so she acted as a small electric blanket keeping me nice and toasty.

I was not thrilled to get up and face the cold air that had settled into my house. It seemed silly to snap on the heat as I was doubtful it would warm the place up before I left, but, I will have to watch the meteorologost more closely. I see me making a soup this weekend.

Welcome to Fall!

Kicking My OCD into Overdrive

2010-09-15T04:44:00.000-07:00

I have lived through many a renovation before. So this time, I was overly prepared for the length and duration of the project. Truth be told, Raul always does a good job and he always cleans up before he leaves, so dealing with him during a renovation is pretty easy.

However, the one thing that is out of his control is the amount of dust that a renovation creates. I think most people would have trouble with this part, BUT, when you have OCD it is even a little more challenging. I have literally scrubbed my house top to bottom several times during this renovation.

Yesterday when I arrived home, there was dust on everything. Every nook and crannie, the top of every painting, every surface imaginable is covered in dust. I feel like I live in the dustbowl.

Every weekend when i scub my house, I am hopeful this will be the last time. But with each passing week we are getting closer and closer to the completion of this project.

Happy Hump Day All. Hope it is a dust free one for you.

There was a time in my life when I was pretty popular, but, as I got older, I came to the realization that popularity takes a lot of work. You need to constantly be on the go, returning phone calls, and always at the parties.

As I aged, I just got too damn lazy to be popular. Now I have a small circle of friends and I am ok with that. I don't want to be out every single night, I enjoy my down time and my reality tv. When Danny & I went to Oqunquit a few weekends ago, I stopped carrying my phone because it almost never rings.

Imagine my surprise when I came home last night to 12 messages. I couldn't imagine who would be calling me. I mentally added up Danny, Chris, & Jen and at least one of my sisters, that came to 4 or 5 calls, but, who else was trying to reach me. It seemed almost foreign that I would have 12 messages.

As soon as I heard the first word on the answering machine, the realization hit me, that I had become the victim of the dreaded election automated phone calls. One after another, and truthfully, I don't even know who most of these people are or what they stand for.

Happy Voting Day All!

The Finish Line

2010-09-13T04:29:00.000-07:00

Everyday, I am inching closer to the completion of my bathroom. This weekend Raul worked both Saturday and for a couple of hours on Sunday. Progress is happening. I can now see the big picture and my bathroom is going to be awesome. We have maximized every single square inch of space.

My new shower is going to be nice and big and will have a nice open feeling to it. My bathtub is going to be beautiful, surounded by marble, and with a new flat screen tv hung in the niche right above it.

The toilet has been moved, making it roomier, and my new vanity will hopefully arrive in one piece today. Things are happening. I am hoping to have a new bathroom in a few weeks.

Happy Monday All!

Oh What a Beautiful Morning

2010-09-10T05:04:00.001-07:00

What a beautiful morning. I felt like Snow White as I was literally awoken by the sound of a Robin whistling outside my window. Being a Friday helps a lot too.

I have on a great outfit and my hair came out great. I just could feel today was going to be a great day.

After embracing the morning light and getting ready for work, I came out of the bathroom whistling and slipped on a pile of a vomit. Still if that was the worst this day had to offer, then I was ok with that.

I walked by the renovated bathroom and caught my shirt on a jagged piece of wood and ripped it. I was bummed, I liked the shirt, but, I have another almost the same color. So stll all was good.

I dressed for work and headed into the garage to see i had a flat tire. I am not sure I know anybody who gets more flat tires than I do. I mean I am not parallel parking and hitting curbs, I mostly pull into my garage and my parking spot at work, how much wear and tear are my tires getting?

So now covered in sweat, my great hairdo is now somewhat limp, my outfit is rumpled and I was dripping in sweat after my tire changing round, but still, I think today is going to be a great day!

Happy Friday All!

Mission Accomplished

2010-09-08T04:10:00.003-07:00

This weekend Danny & I went to Ogunquit. We had so much fun. It was an incredibly fun and relaxing time. I don't think there wasn't a minute when we were not laughing. his was especially apparent at our pool.

Danny & I got into one of those fits of laughter where no matter how much you try you just can't stop laughing. The kind where even if you start to calm down, your friend's continued laughter makes you start all over again. Body racking sounds of laughter that show just how much fun you are having and why you are friends to begin with.

The kind of laughter where people at the pool were asking us what was so funny. For 5 minutes I put my beach towel over my head to try and calm myself own. Even though that was just a quick moment in time, that good feeling and laughter set the tone for the entire weekend.

We had a blast. Bummed I am back at work. Have a Happy Hump Day!

Trapped Like a Cat?

2010-09-02T09:22:00.000-07:00

Last night was the third time I arrived home and found I could not locate Nina. I was on my way to a Wake and figured she would come out when she wanted to. After teh wake, I arrived home to see she was still no where to be found.

I ripped the house apart and couldn't find her anyway. I was however relived to see that the contractor had laid the sub floor in the bathroom. Hmmm doo we see where I am going with this?

Yes Nina had been covered up under the bathroom floor. As soon as I heard the muffled kitty cries, I shot downstairs and went into the closet that houses my heating system and water heater. There through the floor boards I saw two yellow terrified eyes. I realized that I had a dropped ceiling in my laundry room. I got a step ladder and removed the panel and tehre was Nina. However she was too afraid to let me take her out. I grabbed her and she dug her claws so deeply into my arm that the pain was searing. Moments later I couldn't see because some of the blood from my cuts was now running into my eyes.

Nina, myself, the ceiling tile and the ladder all fell to the ground. The ceiling tile and I took the brunt of the fall.I have scratches all over my arms and legs. I can't believe Raul sealed Nina up like a pharoah.

Happy Thursday. No blog til next Wednesday as I enjoy a mini vacation.

The Undertaker

2010-09-01T05:02:00.000-07:00

I am an unabashed, out and proud lover of all animals. I have a soft spot for them. There is no pretense with animals, what you see is normally what you get. Happy, angry, hungry, etc, their emotions are visible for the world to see. They have the ability to love you deeply and they have no problem showing affection.

As an animal lover, I was recently troubled when I came across a dead bird on my lawn. There didn't seem to be any trauma, I had thought the bird may have died from natural causes. Then a few weeks later in alomst the exact same spot, I found another bird, dead as a doornail. I realized that the gas leak I had outside my house must have been killing the birds. I know they take birds down in the mines so if there is a gas leak they will notice it, I realized these birds must have died the same way.

Finally, after weeks and weeks of hassling National grid, they finally came out yesterday and fixed the gas leak on the outside of my house. I was happy because now my house won't blow up and hopefully I will find no more bird bodies on my lawn.

As the National Grid guys were packing up last night, I saw them all looking at something on my lawn. I assumed, another bird had bit the dust. In a now all too familiar pattern of behavior, I went to get my shovel so I could move the bird's body across the street. I was not prepared for what I saw. Mutilated chipmunk parts littered my lawn. If it weren't for the tail I am not sure I would have even known what kind of animal it was. I think that perhaps when National Grid dug up my lawn with the tractor, they must have hit a nest of them and killed them outright. Either that or an animal hater has targeted my house as a graveyard.

It took me three trips to get all of the animal parts across the street. Let's hope this is the end to the animal corpses in my yard. It is really bumming me out.

Have a Happy Hump Day and hope it is free from animal bodies.

Narcism, Where Can I Get Some?

2010-08-31T04:18:00.000-07:00

Narcissus was the son of Cephisus and the nymph Laryiope. A seer told them that their son would live to a ripe old age if he did not look at himself. Many women fell in love with him but he rejected them. One of the nyphs, Echo, was so distraught by his rejection that she retreated into a lonely spot until all that remained was a lonely whisper. The Goddess Nemesis, heard Echo's pleas for vengeance, and arranged for Narcissus to fall in love with his own reflection. He stayed watching his own reflection in the water and eventually drowned.

OK right! Obviously Narcissus was a big fag and his parents came up with this cover story about endless beauty to discourage the other Gods, goddesses, and nymphs from talking about their big homo son, and the fact that he keeps rejecting all these beautiful women. Additionally, I am not saw sure that Narcissus drowned in his own beauty, but, quite possibly was gay bashed when skinny dipping at the local lake and hitting on one of the homophobe Gods.

So why the lesson in greek mythology? I was looking in the mirror the other day, not with any vanity, but, more with a critical eye. Surveying the wrinkles, the aging, the saggy skin, and it struck me that this is how I have always looked at myself, with a very critical eye. Quick to examine my flaws, and always wondering if we see ourselves the way others see us. I was thinking how nice it must be to be vain. To see yourself as attractive while being able to dismiss your own flaws.

Are we all beautiful on the inside, or are some of us just butt ugly? have a feeling pretty kind of Tuesday.

Ghosts in My Ceiling

2010-08-30T04:58:00.001-07:00

I do believe in paranormal activity on some level. I am not educated on the matter, but countless ghosts stories around the fire, a plethora of horror movies, and the occasional stop in the SyFy network has open me up to the potential that ghosts walk among us.

I am not one that is prone to hysteria, and am hopeful that any ghost interactions might border more on the casper side than say the polteirgeist strain. I guess when one has a ghost, you have to hope they are the friendly type. I believe I have a ghost that lives with me. I think he may be friendly, but, I can alos tell you he needs some schooling in manners.

Last night, like almost every Sunday night, I popped an ambien and hit the sheets so I can have a good nights sleep and start the week of fresh. Last night was no different, I took my ambien, crawled into bed, and fell asleep around 9:30. At 1:30 Nina jumped on my bed to wake me up. She seemed agitated and she rarely wakes me up in the middle of the night, however 6 am on a Saturdays, she has no problem with. I rolled over in an ambien haze and yelled at her. One minute later she was back. I turned on the lights and she was looking at the ceiling. Pete was there as well pacing back in forth in my room looking at the ceiling and meowing. I started hearing weird noises like someone was moving furniture. I got up and walked all aroud the house. Me in my underwear with my hair sticking up should be enough to scare away an intruder, but, the ghost didn't seem to want to budge. The three of us laid there looking at the ceiling and finally I told the ghost he was being very rude. I don't mind visitors, but, I sure as shit mind them in the middle of the night.

Guess my ghost was raised with manners. I think he left immediately, Pete and Nina followed him into the hall and he didn't make another peep. Maybe he had been trapped in the bathroom floor and was finally allowed to escape.

Ugly Babies in Wells

2010-08-27T04:43:00.000-07:00

About 25 years ago there was a story on tv about Baby Jessica. She was a toddler playing in her backyard and fell 25 feet into a well. It was one of those stories that gripped the nation. People came from all over to help rescue her and after a nail biting 27 hours or something Baby Jessica was rescued. It was a sad story, but, her parents were kind of ugly so it wasn't super sad. Luckily Baby Jessica was rescued and probably has ugly children of her own now.

Well yesterday, I know how her attractively challenged parents felt. I came home to no greeting from either of my cats. Normally they are awaiting my arrival at the top of the stairs as they know it means dinner time. I walked around the house looking for them and then saw my bathroom floor (pictured above). I knew instinctively my cats were down there. After a few terrifying minutes Pete popped his head out and tore out of the bathroom at 100 miles an hour as he knew he was going to be in trouble. But there was no sign of Nina. I was frantic. I kept calling her and looking for her, but, there was no sign. Then I feared she may have escaped while the contractor was working and walking in and out of the house.

After a nail biting 90 minutes Nina finally popped out of the hole. I had new found empathy for Baby Jessica's ugly parents and well really all parents. If I was frantic after 90 minutes what is it like if your homely baby is in a well for 27 hours. Sure I didn't have Diane Sawyer and half of Texas in my yard helping me get through this ordeal, but, Jen did call me twice and my sister Carol stopped by in the middle of the tragedy, stayed for 15 minutes and then left.

I have asked Raul to please tape the door shut when he leaves as my cats are not smart enough to stay out of the proverbial well. The only lucky thing is my cats are cuter than Baby Jessica.

Happy Friday All!

Bargain Art

2010-08-26T05:25:00.000-07:00

I like a bargain. I am a gay man and I am pretty sure it is hardwired into our DNA. I had these two very sad black and white photo's in my office of docks. To be quite frank, they were bringing me down. I decided I needed something vibrant to perk up my office, but, also something very cost friendly as I don't really care to spend money on something for my office and I am putting in a new costly bathroom.

I found these two pics at HomeGoods. As I am there on a weekly basis, all of the employees know my name. It is a tad embarrassing to walk into the store and have them scream out Hi TJ.

The hooks on the back of the pictures were put on upside down. I immediately noticed it and brought the pics up to the font and asked them if I was correct. They said yes, it was an accident. I then had them discount the pics, then I askled facilities to fix them and hang them up.

Two pictures less than $15...can't beat it.

Happy Thursday All!

We Don't Call Them Fat Ladies

2010-08-25T04:32:00.001-07:00

The other day I had to bring a mentally challenged woman in my office to talk to her about the proper way to behave at work. For the purposes of this blog we will call her Diana. Seems Diana, was saying mean things to some of the people in her department. She was especially mean to another mentally challenged woman we'll call Beth.

I asked her why she was being mean to Beth and she told me she didn't like Beth because Beth was Fat Lady. I had to have a long discussion with her about the fact that we all come in different shapes and sizes and that is what makes us all so special. If we all looked the same, it would be boring. I also explained that some people hold their weight differently than others. I then went on to explain that the term fat could be hurtful to others. She asked me if we could call them giants. I told her I thought the best thing to call her was Beth or Friend.

She looked at the ceiling for a minute and then asked me if Beth knew she was a fat lady and if it was ok to ask her why she was so fat. Yet another lengthy discussion about bodies, weight, and being nice followed. She asked me why is it ok to ask one of the patients at the hospital why they don't have an arm, but, she can't ask Beth why she was fat.

Finally I had to tell Diana that the word fat wasn't nice and you just are not allowed to use it at work. I had a lengthy discussion about our patients, how important the work we do at the hospital was, and how she needed to be nice to Beth because their job was very important and that Beth has the right to work in a happy productive environment. That we all have different shapes and sizes, we have no control over our own bodies, and that finally Beth was a nice woman and Diana had to be nice to her. She has to embrace that we are all different.

I must say I was so proud of myself. I felt as if I had broken through to Diana and she fully understood why she needed to be nice to Beth and that she would no longer be using derogatory terms toward this other employee. Success achieved.

This morning I walked into the hospital and ran smack dab into Diana. I asked her how things were going. She told me great and she was not going to use the word fat anymore, she would just call them Giants. Oy Vey! Diana and her manager are coming back to see me at 8.

Happy Wednesday

Mentally Scarred

2010-08-24T04:23:00.001-07:00

Last year for my birthday, my friends gave me a pornographic movie, titled:BareAssed and Pregnant. Naturally we popped it in the DVD player right away and watched the movie. It was very disturbing and extremely uncomfortable to watch.

This year Jen & I gave Danny, a pornographic movie called Old Ladies 62. Spoiler Alert You would think this was just a film about old ladies having sex. I can tell you that the opening scene of this movie has so mentally scarred me that I cannot get the image out of my head. As we sat screaming on Jen's sofa watching the horror of this movie unfold, I had no idea how hard it would be to shake these frightening images. I seriously think that I may have mentally scarred myself.

I think what is even more disturbing is that there was Old Ladies 1 - 61 before this. How many people are into this sick fetish anyway? I am looking forward to Jen's birthday when we watch: Tranny Granny.

Off to handi-wipe my brain. Happy Tuesday All!

Goodbye Old Friend

2010-08-23T04:48:00.000-07:00

This may be the only photo ever taken of my hideous bathroom. The last thing I did this morning was snap a photo of it with my phone so I can have a memory of just how hideous it was.

My house was built in 1963 (heck I was built in 1965 and I definitely need to be rehabbed), so it was time for a major overhaul. Just before I bought my house it was purchased and flipped by a group of men. Their efforts at updating the bathroom were minimal. A new IKEA vanity and some new hardware in the shower. Rather than re-tile the entire bathroom, they got some multi colored tiles to fill in where they made the changes. Yes the hideous green tile matches the hideous green tub, but, other than that I would call this renovation a big failure.

Enter Raul. He will be transforming my bathroom from a shit house into a, well ehr, a kick ass shit house. I will post some pics when I am done so you mere mortals can get a look at my luxury cleansing salon will look like. Finally I can take a bath without being so cold because my overly large body will not fit in the emaciated tub.

Have a Getting a New Bathroom Kind of Monday!

The Salesman

2010-08-20T05:00:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to go buy Danny's birthday present. No need to ruin the surprise, Danny never reads my blog, additionally he expressly asked Jen & I to purchase it so I won't be ruining any birthday fun. He asked us to get him a camera.

I went into the store, surveyed their merchandise, and asked for a young exuberant sales rep to help me. He grudgingly made his way over to the case. I am fairly certain the cast of Night of the Living Dead was walking a little faster. I asked him to get me a camera, and he replied I wouldn't buy it. I asked why and he said problems with the lenses. Then I asked for another, again he replied, I wouldn't get that either. So Iasked what he would get. He took me over to a camera that did just about everything, but pose for the damn picture. I was sold.

I could tell that Prozac Paul was proud of the way he had imparted camera wisdom on me. He briskly made his way across the display case, by brisk I mean slower than humanly possible. He looked down, scratched his odd teenage haircut and said, guess we are sold out. I got Paul's second choice.

Happy Weekend All!

LOWE Down dirty shame

2010-08-19T04:45:00.001-07:00

I am certain one of my faithful blog readers will be delighting in my pain, BUT, I have decided to share my story anyway. Pictured above is the Grohe chrome contemporary roman faucet for filling up my soon to be installed kick ass tub. (Jen please stop trying to picture me naked and focus).

I had ordered most of my bathroom stuff through Lowe's as Home Depot didn't carry a huge line of drop in tubs. For lighting, tile, etc, I went to specialty shops because I didn't want the same stuff as the masses. However, toilet, mirrors, tub, etc came from Lowe's. I called Lowes last week to check on the status of my order. Serge, my Lowes consultant, assured me everything, but my tub had arrived and my tub was scheduled to be in on the 18th. Well Serge called me on Tuesday night to inform me that my entire order had arrived, except for the faucet pictured above and the rough in set of pipes that come with it. Hmmm, say what Serge? Serge went on to tell me that not only had the faucet not arrived, but, they told him it would be in by September 9th. I told Serge I was not happy as I called the week before to check on the status of my order and was told it was in, additionally, Grohe can shove their $500 faucet up their Grohe ass and stick it. How could they wait over 3 weeks to inform me this piece was on back order. Do they not deal with this bullshit everyday.

I calmly and nicely explained to Serge that I was not happy, that Raul was coming to put in my bathroom on Monday and plumbing was kind of a key feature of my bathroom. Serge assured me he would pick out 4 other faucets i could get in a few days and I could just come in after work and he would show me what he found.

Now here is a tip, if you ever need to go to Lowes or Home depot go around 5-6 pm, the store is deserted because everyone in Suburbia is having dinner. I briskly walked around Lowes looking everywhere for Serge but couldn't find him. I pressed the customer service button and heard a chime that customer needs help in luxury bath. I was met by Debbie. Debbie was new and didn't even know how to use the computer. I asked Debbie to summon Serge and was told Serge and the entire bathroom department had called in Sick. I asked Debbie to get me a manager asap, because I was not dealing with a newbie that couldn't even look up my order. After 30 minutes with Dwayne, it was obvious he was clueless as well, and he couldn't help me. Dwayne kept trying to sell me a fixture that had 2 handles (I don't do the hot and cold handles) and it wasn't pretty. I told Dwayne to cancel my order and I would find it elsewhere.

I went to Home Depot and in a matter of 15 minutes I had this ordered and they assured me it would be here by next Wednesday. We shall see.

Happy Thursday All

Things You Never Want to Hear During Sex

2010-08-18T04:47:00.000-07:00

I can't take credit for this blog entry, it came off of a site called the dating experiment. I read it and found it humorous. They asked people to send in bizarre things they heard during sex. With no entry idea of my own today, I thought I would plagiarize their entry.

Your sister didn't object to this!

Taste the rainbow.

Don't mind the dog.

Oh sh!t! My parents are home!

I don't do anal.

The doctor said he was pretty sure it's not contagious.

Don't worry, I do this all the time. The kid never wakes up.

Shh, there there, it's okay. Please stop crying.

There's that condom I said I put on!

Does your mom really have to be in here?

Huh...

Are you sure your not a virgin?

This isn't where I parked my car...

Have you seen 2 girls 1 cup?

No, this will totally work. I saw it in a movie.

Where did that midget run off too?

When you said you were an animal, I didn't expect a tail...

You're done? Already?

I didn't believe you when you said your parents were little people... I see the resemblance now.

Seriously.. Untie me.

Is your brother home?

Uncle Dane?

Aunt Melissa?

I think I might be gay...

Next!

Don't tell mom/dad!

It's cool, we aren't related by blood.

Where did the hamster go?

RAPE! RAPE! RAPE! SOME ONE HELP!

I thought priests only liked little boys?

I said I swallowed my gum, not that I swallowed cum!

Happy Hump Day All!

FAN - FREAKINTASTIC

2010-08-17T04:22:00.000-07:00

Last year I awoke to find that I had explosive ear hair growth and my eyebrows are inexplicable with how fast they are sprouting. This year, I am now blind as a bat. Getting older really is a magical ride. I have been hesitant to go to the eye doctor. First, I feel as if I am admitting I am getting older. Secondly, and more importantly, I fear a pair of glasses is just the accesory I need for people to begin telling me I look just like my Dad, or worst yet..... just like my Mom.

Just how far off am I from wearing a pair of depends and having to sell my house because I just can't do the stairs anymore? Additionally, my memory, which is downright shitty on a good day, has decided to play some minds game of it's own. I walk blissfully and with purpose into another room, to then stand there and wonder why did I come in here? Last week I walked around my house looking for a pair of scissors, all the while having them in my hand.

So to sum up, fantastical ear, eyebrow, and nose hair growth, can't see at all anymore, and facing early onset alzheimers.

Have a Rockin Tuesday!

HOT BBQ

2010-08-16T05:18:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to my friend Joe's house for a BBQ. Joe is one of those very affable people with lots of friends and he always has a good turn out to all of his events. Joe is close to my age, but, he has an attraction to very young guys. I felt like I walked into a casting call for a gay porn movie. There were dancers from underbar and house of blues, young guys who just came out, and a few who teetered very close to college age. I felt O-L-D.

I kept looking around at all the hot men, and there were plenty of them. Now I am not saying I would kick any of these men out of bed for eating crackers (then again, not quite sure what else they would be doing there). Yes, although I would snap up one of these young men for a quick roll in the hay, I couldn't see me forming a relationship with someone so young. WEe just don't have that much in common.

We left aroung 8 as I was dog tired...lol. Don't they know old people need their sleep!

Happy Monday All!

Too Much Credit

2010-08-13T05:16:00.000-07:00

I like this painting. I was somewhat contemplating buying it but then Kristen told me it is only 8" x 10", so it is basically the size of a piece of paper. Still I think the concept was cool and for some reason the piece resonated with me.

I kept piling praise on Kristen for how creative she was coming up with this idea, then she told me this is part of the Campaign to repeal Proposition 8. Now that does not diminish my still liking the painting, but, the artist is not as creative as I thought...lol.

The quote says, "our lives begin to end the day we become silent". A quote by MLK Jr. Very true and very wise.

I keep wondering if I buy this painting where will I hang it. When you live in a house with an open concept you don't have much wall space. I have a small painting on my counter that says home sweet home, I love that little painting, and I am thinking I might like this one as well.

Besides you never know, if I cut of Kristen's ear, she may be the next Vincent Van Gogh.

Have a great weekend!

Mail Order Runaround

2010-08-12T05:17:00.000-07:00

Since I am remodeling my bathroom, I have been ordering a number of items online. In this journey or procurement I have discovered that most mail order businesses are full of shit.

I have spent hours trolling website after website (no, not those websites), looking for the best deal and best price. They always say they have the item in stock. Invariably after ordering my item, I get a follow up e-mail 4-5 days later telling me the item has been back ordered and will arrive in 4-5 weeks. This is mail order bullshit and I am sick and tired of this crappy treatment.

Yesterday I received an e-mail telling me a light that I ordered almost a week ago, had to be back ordered. If I didn't cancel the order immediately, then I would be faced with a 25% re-stocking fee. I am sure you can imagine my response.

I called the number on the e-mail and told the woman that I was not only horrified that their Douchebag of a company (I phrased it more professionally than that), would wait over a week to inform me the item needed to be backordered, and then they threaten me with a potential re-stocking fee if I don't respond immediately. Take your shitty crystal and chrome chandelier and shove it up your mail order ass. (Again phrased a tad more professionally, although I do believe I made a reference of shoving their threat...lol)

Now I am weeks behind on many of the items I have ordered. I feel like they should have to pay me a re-oredering fee since I know need to do my homework and get back online for hours to get re-fucked by another mail order company.

10 Reasons Why I Hate Martha Stewart

2010-08-11T05:02:00.000-07:00

Last night I fell asleep with the tv on. Well not so much fell asleep, but slipped into an Ambien Coma. I must have rolled over on the clicker at some point and was woken up by a re-run of Martha Stewart Living.

1. This bitch has an annoying voice at 4 a.m.
2. Her whole spiel is based on making the rest of us feel bad for not making our homes, dinner tables, meals perfect. Thanks for trying to make us all Type A weirdos.
3. If I wanted a fucken birdfeeder, I don't need to roll a pine cone in peanut butter...I have a fucken job Martha! They frown upon crafting at work.
4. She has that holier than thou attitude, last I checked that was just reserved for members of the Catholic Church Martha.
5. She went to jail, and didn't change a bit. I was hoping she would emerge with a tear drop tattoo or a grill. Now that is a Martha I could get on board with.
6. She is one condescending bitch. You can see the venom dripping from her lips even when she has on suppossed friends. She may be decoupaging with Rosie O'Donnell, but you know she secretly loathes her.
7. I don't have time to rip up pieces of tinfoil and put them aside to make Christmas decorations later in the year. You are a fucken millionaire, buy an ornament you cheap bastard.
8. She reminds me of a teacher I had growing up, and i hated that bitch too
9. She has a home with a name...Turkey Hill..well La Di Da. Guess I will go home to Kitty Litter Pastures this afternoon
10. I don't really have a number 10, but these lists always require them.

Happ hump Day All

Acrobats, Purrings and Beatings

2010-08-10T04:42:00.001-07:00

Well last night we said goodbye to Olive. I for one was sad to see my little friend leave, but, I think I may have been the only one. I had my nephew's birthday party last night. I brought Olive with me, but my sister Carol and her animal hating family were not very welcoming to my little Olive. Rather than have her subjected to be yelling at when she was being good, I took her home and left her with Nina and Pete.

After the party I packed up Olive's bed, her food, her lead, her toys, and we headed back to my sister Val's house as they were all due to arrive home aroun 9. Olive was devastated when I left her. I think she thought I was leaving her alone in the house.
I drove off somewhat sad that my friend was leaving.

When I got home, I can say the mood was less than somber. Pete was literally doing somersaults through the living room. He walked around purring for 1 hour straight and was all over me. The King had returned to his throne. He was the Alpha Cat once again and wasted no time letting Nina know it by doling out one of his mean big brother beatings to her. Pete topped off his victory lap by eating the remaining dog food out of the barrel, and then curling up on my lap. This was one happy little chap.

Nina was a harder read. I am not sure how she felt about Olive's departure. There wasn't any acrobats or purring, but, she did curl up on the bed with me when I went to sleep and I drifted off to her sleeping by my legs.

This morning as if to confirm that Olive left, Pete did a quick sweep of the place, and then followed me around like a needy girlfriend. As I left he was beating Nina in the bathroom.

A return to normalcy, well as normal as you can get with 2 whacked out kitties.

Happy Tuesday All.

Inspiration

2010-08-09T07:50:00.000-07:00

Inspiration can come from anywhere. I found myself surrounded by it this weekend, with the gorgeous weather. I layed by the pool and at the jacuzzi on Saturday and Sunday and thoroughly enjoyed it, it felt great to just relax.

I saw a story the other night on TV about a man who weighed 650 pounds. He was so heavy that he sent a letter to a personal trainer asking for help. The trainer offered to work with him and the guy pledged 24 months of commitment and following the directions of the trainer. In one month he lost 40 pounds, In 6 months he lost something amazing like 130 pounds. He continued to work out and lost a great deal of weight. His skin was so stretched out that he had an operation to remove all of the extra skin. I think they said he had 18 feet of scars all over his body from this surgery. He lost so much weight that 2 pizza parlors near his house went out of business. He looked great, it was an amazing transformation. It was so inspiring to see him because he was so enormous I imagine it seemed insurmountable to him that he would ever hit his goal weight. He ended up losing 401 pounds. The story then went on to talk about him dating, but I had to go out so couldn't wait to see the story. What I found amazing was that he truly committed to changing his life, his health, and his eventual overall happiness. Having the personal trainer really inspired him to stay committed.

It has given me a new drive to be more cvommitted to myself. I hope his story inspires you as well.

Dog Park Date

2010-08-05T04:37:00.000-07:00

Last night, I took Olive to the dog park in Boston. With the exception of an overly aggresive greyhound, we had a blast. Olive enjoyed playing with all of her new friends, especially Buddy, a cute non-confrontational Golden Retriever. They ran up and down the length of the fence for most of the time we were there. I ended up speaking with Buddy's owner Rodney. Rodney just moved here from Nebraska and is working as an actuarial here in Boston.

Rodney asked me to go for a cup of coffee and we walked our dogs around the city. When we tied up the dogs to go into the coffee shop, Olive had a slight meltdown and freaked out. Can you say seperation anxiety. It was so bad, the coffee shop staff asked me if I would mind leaving to tend to my dog...lol. Poor Olive.

Rodney and I are getting together again tonight. We are taking our dogs for a walk (o.k I haven't yet fessed up Olive isn't mine), and then we are going to grab some slices of pizza and eat outside somewhere so Olive won't freak out. I didn't realize how easy it is to meet men with a dog, I may need to get one of my own.

Our new melded family is getting along very well. Nina has taken to Olive and last night Nina, Olive, and I slept together in a bed. My first 3 way in months and it was with two women....think I need to read they gay manual again. I was woken up with a kiss from Nina and then she kissed Olive. Pete hasn't quite taken a shine to Olive, but, he is no longer terrfied.

No blog tomorrow folks, I am off on a long weekend. Happy Thursday!

We Are Family....

2010-08-04T04:58:00.001-07:00

Last night not only did I have to give up my kick ass ticket to the Black Eyed Peas, but, then I was left with an additional pair of tickets I needed to give away. I felt like Cinderella, forced to miss the ball, while handing out designer gowns to everyone else. My niece and her friend were the recipient of the other Black Eyed Peas tickets, while I was busy doing my best Dr. Phil impressions at home. However I am happy with my decision as all involved seem much better.

I came home and took Olive for a long walk after work,and then we came home for operation integration Part deux. I decided it was so nice out that we all needed some fresh air. I took Plive and put her on her lead in the backyard, then I opened the door and Nina came out to hang with us both. Pete, who at this point had been reduced to a quivering, crying pile of fur, had to be ripped out from under my bed and forced out on the deck to have some fun. I think when he saw Nina was not nearly as terrified as he was, he figured he better Man Up and investigate the situation. I had my dinner on the deck and we all played for an hour or so. When we came back in, although timid and still unsure, Pete did decide to stay an investigate the matter further.

Are they friends....no I wouldn't go that far. I would describe the atmosphere as one of tolerance. There is a great curiousity about each other, but, as brave as they all seem, someone normally gets frightened and runs aways. There is a large amount of sniffing each other, and jealousy over toys and food. Olive played with Pete's stuffed toy for two minutes and Pete took it away, while Pete keeps eating Olive's food. Thiss eems to be the only catalyst which get's Olive to eat.

Last night I took a sleeping pill (Daddy needs his rest) and let Olive sleep with me,. Just before nodding off I saw 4 cats ears peering over the edge of the bed staring at us. It was very Omen like and scared both Olive and I.

I left them all with the run of the house. Let's hope they all bahave without my being the referree.

The Mental Patient

2010-08-03T04:40:00.000-07:00

So as you know I am dogsitting this week. Olive my step child could not be more loveable or more well behaved. Yesterday when I arrived home from work, I could tell she was fairly stressed from being locked up all day. I took her for a long walk and then when we got home I put her on the lead in the backyard and let the cats come out on the deck to see how everyone was doing.

When we decided to go in, Olive started freaking out because I was going to put her in the basement. I figured I would let her hang out with me and see how she did. She was an angel. My cats on the other hand did not handle operation integration very well. Nina retreated to the bathtub, it has saved her from the deadly vacuum before and it is her go to place to feel safe. Pete on the other hand started violently shaking like a heroin addict going through withdrawals.

Olive just hung out with me in the living room, bothering nobody and just followed me around being good as gold. Nina came out to investigate the matter. She came up to the couch, went nose to nose with Olive (Olive barely lifted her head in recognition of Nina's presence), and then Nina bolted from the room. Later Nina came out and I actually saw her on her two hind legs hugging the wall as she walked down the hallway like a burgler on a ledge. It was pretty funny and I am bummed I didn't have a camera because I am sure it would have been a you tube hit.

Pete came out once, stared at Olive for 2 solid minutes and retreated to the guest bedroom, shaking, convulsing, and crying. I am not sure what illicits such terror since Olive hasn't so much as even barked at Pete.

Around 9 O'Clock I decided to put Olive in the basement so I could tend to my overly anxious pet. The night kind of went down hill from there. It took me over 30 minutes just to get Pete to stop shaking. Olive started barking and wailing as if she was being murdered in the basement. She continued this screaming from 9 pm til 5 am when I finally went to release her from her terror filled night. During the night my cats so riled up from Olive's wailing have been running up and down the halls of my house leaving 15 seperate piles of vomit for me to clean this morning.

I was suppossed to go to the Black Eyed Peas concert tonight, BUT, there is no way I can leave any of these emotionally drained pets alone. I am forfeiting my ticket to tend to my flock.

I see a sleeping pill in my future. Not sure what to do for the kids.

Happy Tuesday All.

The Houseguest

2010-08-02T04:11:00.000-07:00

Last night I got my apartment ready for it's first visitor since the remodel was finished. Olive Wall is staying with us for the next week. For those of you who don't know Olive, she is my sister's dog. My sister and her family are winging their way to Aruba as I type so my guest came over last night.

Now unfortunately for Olive she can't have her run of the house as Pete and Nina are very stressed about her presence. So Olive has taken the lower floor, while the cats are relegated to the upper floor.

After my sister left last night, the crying from the basement was so heart wrenching that I had to go downstairs and lay with her on the bed for an hour while I comforted her. She was very traumatized by the whole ordeal. I put on magic 106 and we laid on the bed listening to soothing music while she drifted off to sleep.

This morning was teh first morning in action. I jumped up at 5:30 and both Pete and Nina were sitting on my bed, as if to say, "Did you know there is a dog downstairs"? I fed the cats then grabbed Olive and put her on the lead in the backyard so I could do "my business" while Olive did hers. Unfortunately for my neighbors, this new routine was upsetting to Olive and she cried for most of the morning in the yard. I feel so bad leaving her alone all day while I am at work, but, I promised her a night full of adventure. A car ride and a walk are in her future.

I left her alone in her little apartment, fed her breakfast, and left with the same guilt that affects all new parents.

I am taking Friday off, so that should be less stressful.

Happy Monday All!

Fine Feathered Mess

2010-07-30T04:19:00.000-07:00

Every night I come home and flip on the news to watch one horrific story after another about crime, murder, rape, and vandalism. I think we often take comfort that it happened somewhere else and not at our home.

But when crime does finally land on your door step it is sometimes un-nerving. Yesterday I came home to find that I had been a victim myself. It’s funny, you wouldn’t think of Stoneham as a dangerous place, but, I guess it goes to show that hate and prejudice can be found anywhere.

My arrival at home wasn’t different from any other day. I pulled into that garage, walked upstairs, petted both cats and walked to the island to put my stuff and the mail down. I looked at the floor in the kitchen and saw something white and fluffy, but, thought it might just be a hairball acting as a tumbleweed blowing through my kitchen. I walked half way down the hallway, when I saw it, and froze in mid step. I actually couldn’t believe what I was looking at or how this could ever have happened. There were feathers E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E.

My OCD kicked into overdrive.

My first thought…naturally was WTF. My second thought was, what is the best way to clean up feathers? (my tools: broom & dustpan, then vacuum, then broom and dustpan again, followed by another vigorous round of vacuuming). How vigorous…..1.5 hours of cleaning. I think I broke a sweat.

Then it was time to question the suspects. Both Nina and Pete were summoned to the scene of the crime. Both chose to ignore me. Both were then taken by force and placed on the bed. I held the torn pillow out before them and demanded to know who did this. Both came over, sniffed the pillow, and then turned their backs on me. Damn the guys were going to be tough to crack. Then I held out the feathers and screamed who did this?

Nina doesn’t often do something wrong, but, when she does, she tends to pretend that she is not being questioned, often looking anywhere but where the offense occurred. Pete came over, sniffed the pile of down and ran away with feathers stuck to his head. He is handsome, but not that bright. Now that I had identified the culprit, it was time to face the music. A stern lecture about the evils of feathers seemed to go over as well with Nina as a stern talk to Bristol Palin about birth control. So I decided to really punish Nina. I closed the door in the room, effectively trapping her in there with me, the feathers, and the dreaded vacuum cleaner. If you don’t have cats you may not know that a vacuum is a scary to cats as antibacterial cleaner is to my friend Chris’s apartment.

Guess I will be buying a new pillow or two this weekend. Have a great and hopefully feather free weekend Y’all.

Newbury Comics

2010-07-28T04:36:00.001-07:00

Last night I was walking down Newbury Street in Boston. I love walking through boston on a Summer night, and especially enjoy walking around down the South End and Newbury Street.

There is such a wide array of characters. There is the crazy homeless lady that asks me for a dollar every time I see her to feed her kids. I always ask her what she has for kids. She always tells me somethinfg different, yesterday, she had 5 boys..lol. Then there is the Euro Trash. I like them, and let's face it, they are probably the only small portion of the population that can afford anything on Newbury. There is tha harried workers rushing up and down the streets, struggling artists hanging their work on fences hustling to make a buck, and the plethora of students that just seem to walk aimlessly up and down the street. I could sit there all day and people watch.

Yesterday, was thinking just how comical it all was and I wondered if that was how they came up with the name Newbury Comics.

Happy Hump Day All.

Introspective

2010-07-27T04:36:00.000-07:00

I think it is important to look at ourselves introspectively. I look at myself often and try to do so objectively. I often wonder if we ever really see ourselves the way other people see us. Can we look at ourselves without an obstructed view?

I often ask myself, am I a good person? Would I make my parents proud? Do I treat others the way I would want to be treated? How can I better myself? Do I harbor prejudices?

Sometimes when I look at myself I don't like what I see, so I conciously try to make an effort to change. However, I am sure there are things that are so ingrained in myself I don't actually see them and those may be harder to address.

This morning, like many mornings when I drive to work, I take some personal stock at my life and look into my behaviors, attitudes, and demeanor. There is always room for personal growth and I always see some of my own deficits. I wonder if my behavior is the norm, or, do most people try not to look at themselves.

Are we always a work in progress or do we ever get to that place called nirvana? Take a look at yoursleves and let me know.

Happy Tuesday All!

Flattered But Um.......No Thanks

2010-07-26T04:45:00.000-07:00

Last night my phone rang and it was a guy from high school. To be honest I would not even have remembered he was from high school if he hadn't recently befriended me on Facebook and I looked him up in the year book. While trying to get my bearings, he launched into this whole story about the fact that he always had a crush on me in high school. He just got out of a long term relationship and heard I did too and wanted to know if I wanted to go out on a date. Um I didn't even know he was gay.

I was so stunned by the call that I was actually having trouble getting any words out or even forming a declarative sentance. I asked how he got my phone number and he told me he reached out to 3 people from high school. Someone told him where I lived and he called information.

Now yes, it is very flattering that someone who liked me as a teenager would want to go out with me and I know this is probably going to sound awful, BUT, I didn't find him attractive in high school and Facebook has shown me that I don't find him attractive today.

As my mind raced with excuses about why I couldn't accept his invitation, I decided to just be adult, well adult mixed with tact, and explained that although flattered I wasn't looking to date right now. He was persistant. He kept suggesting we meet as friends to catch up on old times. To my recollection, which admittedly, is shaky at times, we have no old times to discuss. I don't even really remember this guy and we most certainly were never friends...I don't even think we were all that friendly. I was kind of a bitch in high school.

It was so unbelieveable awkward, that finally I rang my own doorbell just to get off the phone. So flattered yes, but, I will not be returning his call as i promised I would.

The Fans

2010-07-23T05:01:00.000-07:00

I grew up in a house that would have rivaled an igloo for it's temperatures. My parents kept our central air conditioning on all of the time. Sometimes in August my friends would come to pick me up and I would have on cordurouys. They would laugh and I would explain that it was 20 below in my house and I had no touch with reality on what the actual temperature was like outside.

We have had a brutaly hot Summer. That is fine with me, I like being warm. I have central air at home, and although I don't keep my home as frigid as my parents did, it is always comfortable to sleep in.

I also put a fan next to my bed at night. I like the added sensation of the wind and like the fact that it helps drown out the noise of crazy cats racing up and down my hallway.

My office however is a different story. Although we have central air conditioning, my office is abnormally hot. The other day, without direction, one of our maintenance people just showed up and put a fan on my wall. I asked him why he was doing it and he said he saw me sweating one day and overheard me and a co-worker discussing how hot the temperature was. I love people who do things without being told. Who go the extra mile for someone without being directed to do so, and who just do things that are right.

I am now his fan!

have a Happy Friday!

The Early Bird Catches.....Well Nothing In This Case

2010-07-22T04:46:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to try and get a handle on the unbelievably large amount of paperwork on my desk, I came into work early today. Unfortunately, as with every day for the past 2 weeks when I have arrived, this computer virus I received will not let me log into my computer. No computer = No work. Nobody from my IT department is in yet. This leaves me with nothing to do. I can’t even get on the internet. I am just sitting here watching the piles of work get larger on my desk with no recourse but to sit in my office and pout. I need a V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N, or at least an extra day off. I see me putting in for a vacation day next Friday.

I also see me throwing a fit until my PC get’s fixed. I wield my power in a benevolent way….well if benevolent is defined as bratty…lol. Hope you all have a great Thursday. Mine not starting off so great.

Too Busy to Blog

2010-07-21T05:35:00.000-07:00

No time to blog today peeps, I am swamped.

Happy Hump Day

Delish

2010-07-20T04:31:00.000-07:00

Last night we went to Stella for Kirby's birthday and my dinner was stellar!. It was such a nice night that we walked over from Kirby's apartment. Jen and Chris split a beet salad (she's a vegeterian and weird people), Danny & Kirby split a ceasar salad, and I ordered the most delicious crispy fries for an appetizer.

Kirby and I both had the pork milanese for dinner. It was out of this world delicious. I felt like I weighed 400 pounds by the time I was done feeding my face. Danny and Chris had a spaghetti with olive oil and garlic that smelled great, and Jen had Gnocchi. I believe the consensus was that we all loved our meal.

We topped of the night with after dinner drinks (decaf for me...lol) and I ordered a tart lemon sorbet which was phenomenal. I am not sure why I don't eat here more often, I think I never remember it.

Four days and four great dinners in a row, I have a feeling my lunch at T-bones today with an old co-worker is just not going to match up...lol.

Happy Tuesday All!

The Pahty

2010-07-19T05:20:00.000-07:00

Today is Kirby's birthday. Happy Birthday Kirby even though you don't read my blog.

Tonight we are taking Kirby out for his birthday dinner. True to form with my group pf friends, I do not think we have selected a restaurant or even a time for tonight's festivities. I had some delicious meals over this weekend and am hoping the trend continues tonight. I hope we go somewhere yummy.

By the way hit an awesome restaurant on Friday night in Peabody on Route 1 called Brutole. My chicken was da bomb.

Happy Monday All!

Dress Code

2010-07-16T06:21:00.000-07:00

Last month Igot roped into re-writing our dress code policy. Now since I work in the Ozarks, Ooops I mean NH, you can kind of guess that I am not in the fashion capital of America. Additionally most of the offenders of our policy, are long time employees, most of whom are weight challenged, and most of whom work out of site from the general public.

I don't really care what these people wear. To be honest, I couldn't pick most of them out of a line up. I am not that observant on a good day, but, even less observant with someone I hardly ever see.

You would think this committee I am on was re-writing the Declaration of Independence. Every day I have received 15-20 e-mails on this stupid policy. I just don't care!

Today I was done. The policy was sent to an admnin and I asked her to publish it. Would you believe that I came in to 39 e-mails in reference to changes people want to this Mother*&^%$# policy. I cannot get this fucken thing off my desk.

I have had it. The general poupulation that works here does not care what they look like, I don't give a flying fuck what they look like, and I can guarantee once the policy is in place, nobody will adhere to it anyway.

I can't take the UGLY no mo....lol

Happy Friday All

Back to School.....Well Kind of

2010-07-15T04:47:00.000-07:00

Danny and I have been talking about taking a class. Just something fun that could get us out of the house and occupy our time, while also learning something new.

I always loved school. I think it's fun to sit in a class and see the way people teach and the way people learn. If I had the funds, I would most definitely have just been a professional student.

I started to research getting my masters degree a couple of years ago, Phoenix credits you with work experience, I believe I only needed to take like 3 classes and write my thesis. I still toy with the idea on occasion.

This class however is purely fun. We are going to take a wheelthrowing class. Now, I have not even a millimeter of artistic creativity in my body, but, whether I make a lopsided ashtray or an uneven vase, I still jus think the class will be fun. Naturally, I am secretly hoping a Patrick Swayze lookalike takes the class and re-creates the sex scene from Ghost, but, even if that doesn't happen, I still think it will be overall an enjoyable experience.

Have a Great Thursday and don't be surprised if your Christmas gift is ceramic this year!!

Touch My Boob

2010-07-14T04:23:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I had to put my car in the shop for some service. My sister was nice enough to let me use my nieces car, saving me $50 on a car rental for the day, which was both awesome and very generous. My niece has had her car taken away for typical teenage behavior and it has been sitting in my garage for the last few weeks.

This is only the second time I have driven the car. It has a funky smell to it and on the stick shift is a bracelet that says touch my boob. I find it very comical. I laugh every time I look at it.

On my way to work this morning a man slammed on his breaks and the woman in front of me slammed into the back of his car. In order to avoid the accident, I slammed on the breaks and swerved the car. When I came to a stop a piece of plastic that is stuck in the spot that was used for the ashtray, came flying out with four tiny roaches. I burst out laughing and thought gee if I knew how to roll a joint I probably would have and smoked before coming to work. Then I had a flashback back to a job I had many years ago. I met a friend for lunch and we smoked some pot. BIG mistake...HUGE. I walked back in the office and my boss said she needed to speak to me about something very important. We spoke for 20 minutes and when she was done, I looked up and said, I am sorry what did you say I mentally stepped out. She then went on to tell me she was laying everyone but the two of us off.That was the last time I though marijuana and work were a good combination...lol.

Val if you are reading this you are barred from saying anything...lol.

Vandalism

2010-07-13T04:47:00.000-07:00

One of the benefits of being OCD, is that I can tell in an instant if anyone has been in my home. I can tell if a pen was moved a millimeter. It's a gift, or perhaps a curse, but comes in handy.

This morning as soon as I opened the garage door, I could sense someone had been in there. I looked in my car. I had left bills and some paperwork on the seat to bring to work and it was strewn about the car. There was also dried dead grass all over the seats of my car and on my dashboard.

I knew instantly who would wreak this kind of vandalism. Let's face it most criminals are stupid and very bad at covering their tracks. This guy was certainl;y not a pro.

Suspicians aside, sometimes the evidence speaks so loudly that there is no need for a trial or inquisition. For me that clue, came in the form of cat vomit I found right next to my car, and then there were the paw prints all over my windshield and dashboard. Seems Pete (why is it never my little angel Nina), got into the garage as I hadn't shut the door tightly and must have spent quite a while investigating his new frontier. When questioned about his crime, he played dumb by purring and staring at the ceiling.

The sentence was handed down on the spot. Two tummy tickles and a stern look. I doubt he will be commiting a crime like this again soon, well until I forget to shut the door tight.

Happy Tuesday All!

Overconfidence

2010-07-12T05:02:00.000-07:00

I know what you are thinking, how could anyone in dressed as The Capatin of Captain and Tenille be overconfident.

I wonder the same thing!

The Wall

2010-07-09T05:09:00.000-07:00

This post has nothing to do with Pink Floyd's Song, The Great Wall of China, nor my sister whose last name ironically is wall. I am having a new wall built in my driveway. My wall is a very tiny, yet kind of expensive retaining wall. I can't even imagine how much that China one cost...lol.

I had actually asked Marcos my contractor to build the wall in May and was pretty sure he forgot all about me. I checked in about a month later and he told me he over-ordered some supplies from another job so he wouldn't have to charge me. Thank you Marcos!!

I finally heard from him on Wednesday and he told me he was coming yesterday. I forgot all about it until I pulled into my quarry, ooops I mean my driveway and saw a lot of rocks...lol. I am excited to see the finished product!

Being a gay we love our home improvement projects! Happy Weekend to All!

Painting SUCKS

2010-07-08T04:38:00.000-07:00

How is it that something so easy can be so hard. You take a brush or roller, dip it in paint, and apply to a wall. Seems pretty easy in theory, yet, it always seems to be a pain in the ass.

I painted my downstairs bathroom last week. I guess you need to factor in that I shake like a palsy victim on a good day. Still in theory, you'd think it would be pretty easy. But I drop the brush, get paint from the wall on the ceiling, get paint from the ceiling on the wall.

Finally I finished everything. I did the trim the other night. Last night I ripped off the painters tape and saw that some of the paint had bled through and when I removed some of the tape, it took off big hunks of paint. For someone with OCD, this is NOT acceptable.

So I will be touching up my mistakes over the weekend. The only bright spot is when you seal your bathroom floor six times and you get paint on it, it wipes right off.

Don't come by my house this weekend unless profanity laiden comments float your boat.

So now I need to touch up the paint....yet again.

Have a Paint Free Thursday!

Hot Stuff

2010-07-07T04:26:00.000-07:00

Yes it is mighty hot out. I can't really complain about it, I will take excessive heat over cold any day. On the bright side, I am lucky to work in an air conditioned office and sleep in an air conditioned house.

Sometimes certain aspects of my job are elevated by the climate changes, and excessive heat is one of those events. Inevitably when the temperature climbs north, I get a call from someone within my organization, complaining about the hygiene habits of an employee. I am then faced with the delicate task of explaining to someone that deodorant is not really optional when working in such close quarters. Having a discussion with someone about their hygiene, or lack there of is always uncomfortable. It is a talk I dread, it is usually embarrassing for those I need to speak with, and it's a sensitive issue to lay on the table.

As I type, I am waiting for my first glandular offender of the day. I sometimes sit in disbelief that I need to have a discussion like this with an adult, a professional, and a member of society. Unfortunately, I always do. There is an awkward pause, followed by an odder excuse (store had no deodorant, don't have money to get it til payday, I tend to sweat when I am given too much work to do, etc). Wish me luck as I navigate someone's feelings and while solving the issue at hand.

Have a Happy Hump Day, and don't forget your deodorant.

Today, I have to have a talk just like the one described above. Can you say awkward.

Computer Virus

2010-07-06T06:48:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday I got a computer virus. This one is great. It doesn't allow you to go to any sites, and redirects you to one porn site after a another. I thought IT had fixed it, but, on Friday just before I left I noticed lottery sites kept popping up.

This morning it has taken over 2.5 hours for them to get me back online. I will never figure out the psychology behind people that unleash computer viruses. What kind of thrill is in it for them exactly? For me, I just can't work so really it's more of a boredom issue than anything else, well I guess productivity for my employer.

I hope you all had a safe and happy weekend.

The BIG Weekend

2010-07-02T04:52:00.001-07:00

Something about this picture just spoke to me...not quite sure what that was...lol. I can't tell you how often you will find me naked wrapped in an American Flag. I thought this was my photo.

Well I had hoped to take today off, but that plan did not resonate well with my boss. However he did tell me I could leave early, and I have always been one to take direction well. I am hoping to scoot out around 10:30-11 am. Then I am off to sit in about 4 hours of Cape traffic....YIPPEE.

Tonight I am staying at Kirby's house and tomorrow night I am staying at Ken & Marks. I am coming home on Sunday. I thought it would be nice to beat the traffic home so I can rest of Monday and I have been invited to a BBQ on Sunday night.

I hope you all have a great and safe holiday weekend.

Keys?????????

2010-07-01T04:08:00.000-07:00

This is an odd story. I ran to the store last night and when I came in I had to pee. So I ran into the bathroom downstairs, did my thing, and as I was leaving I noticed I almost left my keys by the sink. I actually thought to myself, good thing I saw these, I would have been crazy tomorrow morning looking for them when I went to work.

Now those of you who know me, know I am a creature of habit. I lay my clothes out the night before work, I make my coffee the night before, so it automatically perks when I get up, and I leave keys, wallet, watch, etc all in the same place.

This morning, I went to leave for work and I have no idea what I did with me key. As I have decided to go to the Cape this weekend, I was going to ask my boss if he is coolw ith me not coming in tomorrow. I didn't need to be late today, especially as I have to leave a wee bit early to get my haircut.

So tearing through my house at top rates of speed, I was unable to locate my missing keys. For someone with OCD, this is a tad troubling. I grabbed my extra set of car keys and came to work.

Now I know they keys are somewhere in my house, so that is a good thing, BUT, where the F are my keys? I suspect a four pawed thief but I have no proof as of yet.

I see a crazed gay man tearing his house apart tonight.

Happy Fourth of July Weekend Y'All!

The Intern

2010-06-30T04:35:00.000-07:00

My new intern started working for me this week. She is a high school Sophomore and cute as a button. I am one of those people that really utilizes their interns. Every time I assign her a task people tell me it will be too hard for her. I don't belive that. I truly believe in the 3 days I have known her that she is more computer literate than half the people in my organization.

I assigned her a task on Monday and asked her to finish it my next Friday. When I arrived at 7 am she was waiting outside my office, report in hand, done perfectly.Loving her!

I just asked her to take a crack at a long tedious project that has been sitting in my inbox for weeks. She happily marched off with job in hand. I am thrilled I don't have to do the work, and excited that she seemed to fully understand what I needed her to do.

How can I get one of these interns at home?

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

2010-06-29T04:39:00.000-07:00

I am faced with a dilemma this weekend. I have been invited to go to Provincetown for the weekend. This time Mark & Ken have invited me to come stay at their beautiful house. It is really very nice of them to extend me an invitation on what is probably the busiest weekend of the Summer.

If I don't go, my weekend will be pretty lame as almost everyone I know is going away somewhere. But, I have been spending money like a drunken sailor....well that is if drunken sailors spend money on slate and plumbers....but I digress.

Truthfully, I have been spending a lot of money lately as I find I have been going out/away a lot. The responsible thing would be to stay home and just have a sedate weekend, watching my pennies and taking care of my two cute, but kind of brain damaged kitties. But, I am afraid I will be bored out of my pretty Brad Pitt like head. Ok maybe it's more like Brad Garrett, but you get the idea.

I am struggling with being responsible and living in the moment. Additionally, had I planned this better I would have taken Friday off and planned to leave late Thursday night to avoid the nightmare of traffic. Now I am the only person in my department who will be here so an early exit is not very likely.

Just not sure what a boy should do.

High Sheen

2010-06-28T04:16:00.000-07:00

Sorry to disappoint all of you, but this blog entry is not about Charlie Sheen...lol. The high sheen I am referring to is on my new slate floor.

I put in a new slate floor in my bathroom. When I say I put it in, I mean I selected and bought it, and Raul the best contractor in the world put it in. Then he came last week and grouted it. But this weekend I sealed the floor. Raul told me to do it twice, so naturally I sealed it six times. The result is my floor looks like glass. I really love it!

When you seal the slate it really brings out all of the colors in the stone, and you can see all the beautiful colors in such a vibrant way. It's like me new bathroom floor is a Benetton ad.

I will be painting soon and maybe just maybe I will post pictures of my new beautiful bathroom that nobody ever uses....lol.

Happy Monday All!

Backing Up

2010-06-25T04:30:00.000-07:00

Oh Joy! Another day...another costly expense for me at my house. I am not sure how I even afford to eat with the amount of money I have spent on plumbers this year. This year alone (we are only in June people), I have spent nearly 8 thousand dollars on plumbing expenses. Sure a new heating system was part of that massive expense, but, it wasn't something I was thrilled to buy.

My pipes are clogged in my upstairs bathroom and they are causing my downstairs bathroom to flood! I am dreading the visit from my plumber today as I just know it is going to be expensive.

Is anyone in the market for a kidney?

Happy Friday All!

The Crowded Bed

2010-06-24T04:12:00.000-07:00

Last night my bed was pretty crowded. There was me, Nina, Pete, and Charlie. Who is Charlie? Charlie Horse.

I woke up at 3:30 am with the worst Charlie Horse. It caused me to leap out of bed and try and walk it off. A brisk walk at 3:30 a.m. wasn't really something I needed. This is the second time this week that Charlie has paid me a visit. I can tell you that Pete and Nina were also not a fan of Charlie as my Olympic like vaulting out of bed also sent them both flying into the air.

I have not had a Charlie Horse in years. I am not really certain how I strained my calf muscle, but, the pain was incredible. It literally feels like someone has taken an imaginary, yet very sharp knife and they are driving it into my calf muscle.

After walking throughout my house for a good 10-15 minutes, I was finally able to lay down again. I am really hoping this is the last time Charlie and I see each other.

I put some icy hot on my calf this morning to see if it could help with the pain. For those of you who don't know, Icy-Hot is a cat aphrodisiac. They have been following me around the house like I am a dealer and they are two meth head kitties.

Have a Charlie Horse Free Kind of Day

LATE

2010-06-23T04:43:00.000-07:00

I can count on one hand the number of times I have overslept in my life. Today is one of those days, so no real time for a blog people.

Have an on-time day!

The Big Date

2010-06-22T04:05:00.000-07:00

Tonight is my first "official" date with Andre. It is not the first date I have had since Marcello and I split up, but, it is the first date I have been looking forward to. Andre and I met at Gay Pride. He seems like a very nice guy. He is very easy to talk to, he has a great job, he even works in HR (does HRIS for a Pharmaceutical company), and he is Portuguese so he has that ethnic thing going on that I like.

The restaurant has been chosen, a new outfit has been purchased, and we have chatted several times since we met, so I am not worried about having anything to talk about.

The funny thing about this date, is that everyone else I know seems even more excited than I am that I am going. My friends all had the opportunity to meet Andre and he received te stamp of approval from everyone......even Chris. Chris has never liked anyone that any of us have dated..... not sure what Andre did to illicit such positive feedback from my overly critical friend.

I was worried I might even cancel the date as I wondered if Marcello and I might reconcile, but, doesn't look like that will be happening. So let the games begin!

Happy Tuesday All!

Bad End to a Very Good Weekend

2010-06-21T04:42:00.000-07:00

Went down to Kirby's place for the weekend with Danny, Chris, and naturally Kirby! We as always had fun. Great food, lots and lots of drinks, and some great weather. Those boys can really keep me laughing.

Kirby as always was such a gracious host. I just love his place down there. We hit some good restaurants, but, we also had a great BBQ that I really enjoyed.

This morning, I was starving and definitely in need of some caffeine. Unfortunately, when I pulled into Dunkin Donuts they had no power and the store was closed. I tried two other locations nearby and the same thing. I have no idea how I am going to power through this day without some caffeine. I may have to resort to hospital coffee.

Happy Monday All!

On My Mind

2010-06-18T04:45:00.000-07:00

I have been wanting to travel to Italy forever. The history, the food, the culture, the hot men...it all sounds so very appealing to me. I also want to make sure I travel with someone who will enhance the experience. I want to soak up everything the country has to offer.

I am not sure why I haven't planned a trip there. I am trying to save up my PTO so if I decide to pull the trigger this year, I can have enough time to really enjoy it. I mean there is just no point in going to Europe if you don't have a few weeks to really check it out.

I think my one hesitation is that Italy is a traveling trip. Meaning that if I go there, I would want to see various spots....Rome, venice, Maybe Sicily. I hate the travel part of traveling. If any of you have traveled with me, you understand as I have never mastered the concept of traveling light. The one time I tried to travel light, I had to repeat outfits.....HORROR!

So who knows folks, in a few weeks I may have a ticket for pizza and hot men. I will keep you posted!

What a Week

2010-06-17T04:20:00.000-07:00

This week I have been forced to attend some very boring and very long winded meetings. Yesterday, I was poking myself in the groin to try and avoid nodding off in one meeting where I am pretty sure temperatures in the room reached a balmy 140 degrees.

But last night was absolutely torture. I went to an industry function I have attended for the last 3 years. Normally the big award winner from the year before speaks, but last years winner was shy. So they hired this man to come speak. This guy droned on and on and on about his life (he has not had that interesting a life), the talk was painful. I was hoping for a natural disaster to clear the room. Today, I have another 2 hour meeting from 3 - 5 that I am dreading. Let's hope today zips by.

Happy Thursday Y'All

One Tired Guy

2010-06-16T05:10:00.001-07:00

So last night, I went to bed at 10 pm, ready to get a good nights sleep. Then nothing, I just laid there in the dark, not sleeping. An occasional cat would jump on the bed and walk on my head, and leave. More silence, more darkness, time ticking by. Then the panic stats to set in.Followed by the question and answer session. Why aren't I sleeping? Why am I so tired? Why am I able to do math so quickly to dtermine just how much sleep I am not getting?

So at 1 I decided to take an ambien. Big mistake. I woke up like Lindsay Lohan on a four day bender. As a matter of fact, I may have had an alcohol monitoring device placed on my leg, not really sure, i was just too damn tired to look.

Moral of the story, take drugs early...live better.

Happy Wednesday All!

Too Busy to Blog

2010-06-15T04:39:00.000-07:00

Sorry All, made the mistake of taking a whole day off of work, and now I am slammed with piles of paperwork on my desk.

Suffice it to say weekend was fun, especially Saturday night! great time had by all! Still somewhat in recovery mode (hey I am not a kid anymore), and looking forward to an awesome Summer.

Have a great day

So UnChristian

2010-06-11T04:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I saw a story about an article written by Michael Pakaluk for the Pilot, an archdiocese newspaper. In the article, Mr Pakaluk stated that the children of gay couples should in fact be denied admission to the parochial schools because there was a higher likelihood that these children would bring pornography to school, becuase the devient lifestyle of gays is rife with pornographic material.

This morning I saw Mr. Pakaluk stating he feels that his statements were blown out of proportion and that he is sorry if he has offended anyone.

Pakaluk wrote that pornographic items “go along with the same-sex lifestyle, which — as not being related to procreation — is inherently eroticized and pornographic.’’

I guess Mr. Pakaluk didn't grow up in Medford, since just about everyone of my friends and their "straight" dads had playboy collections. I am going to go out on a limb and say I am certain Mr. Pakaluk himself has looked at a playboy or two.

This is just another example of how the Catholic Church is becoming a victim of it's own arrogance. They sit in judgement of so many, and yet, the gun keeps pointing back at them for immoral acts, and unchristian behavior.

In the column, Pakaluk also expressed concern that by welcoming gay families, Catholic schools could give children the impression that the practice of homosexuality is acceptable, as well as potentially provide an opportunity for a gay parent to “advocate for his lifestyle.’’ He added that gay parents should not be called “parents’’ unless they are biologically related to their children.

I find Mr. Pakaluk's comments offensive, I am sickened that the Catholic Church would again use their position to pick on a minority, and I am disavowing my former religion as archaic, out of touch, and desperately in need of a dose of christian behavior.

Happy Friday All

Let's Start The Revolution

2010-06-10T04:52:00.001-07:00

I wake up at the UnGodly hour of 5:30 am everyday for work. I believe I have whined, err blogged about this on one or two occasions. Some days it is harder than others to get my old gay ass out of bed. Today was one of those days. The gang of Blue Jays that whistle outside my bedroom were nowhere to be found. The sunlight peeking around my curtains, wasn't welcoming me to the morning, and everyone's favorite blog fodder, Pete and Nina decided to sleep in. Truthfully, I wanted to sleep in. Rainy days are so nice to just rollover, pull up the covers, and let you drift off into peaceful slumber. But, I do have a desire to eat, and I have discovered that work doesn't like to pay you if your not going to show up. Fanatics!

As I pulled myself out of bed and shuffled to the kitchen for my morning coffee, I had an epiphany. I think everyone should get 5 additional days of rainy PTO. The premise would be on particularly rainy or snowy days, you would be allowed to roll over and sleep for as long as you like. No repercussions for not calling the boss, nobody wondering why you didn't come in, and no effect on your vacation time. Just the option to catch up on some much needed sleep. Hell it's really just about health and good old common sense.

Who's with me! Let's start the revolution! All those in favor, say Aye!

Happy Rainy Thursday All>

Home Improvement Annoyance

2010-06-09T08:58:00.000-07:00

OK last week I hired a company to come reglaze the tile in my downstairs bathroom. I made the appointment for 3 on Friday. At 1 the guy calls me with an attitude and says I am at your house. I asked why was he there since the appointment was for 3. He told me that he wasn't waiting. I was pissed as I had to delay my floor being put in.

Yesterday I hired another company. Took a half day off work, and when I got home the guy told me he mis-quoted my prioce and jacked it up by $125. I had a few expletives I shared with him and told him to get the expletive out of my house.

This morning comany 3 showed up. They somehow didn't realize that I wanted this done today. However, the gentleman was very accomodating and had someone to my house within the hour.

Next time, I am just re-tiling.

Happy Hump Day!

Kiddie Crack

2010-06-08T04:05:00.000-07:00

I discovered recently that my six year old nephew Tommy has become an addict. He is addicted to buying japanese erasers. This is the latest kid wave, like beanie babies and cabbage patch dolls, this is the new must have for anyone under the age of 10.

These erasers come in various shapes and sizes, everything from a mock toilet with plunger and poop, to hamsters and cupcakes. The erasers come apart and then snap back together. That is pretty much the thrill of it all....well that and how many you can collect. They are very cheap, they cost a few bucks and he carries around a baggie loaded with this crap.

He has become obsessed with them. It got me to thinking, I wish I could tap into this very lucrative market. Let's face it, parents want to please their kids, and I want to be the catalyst that brings parents wallets to my own bank account.

Perhaps I don't have the vision. If someone came to me last year and asked me if I wanted to invest in japanese erasers, i would have laughed them out of the room. Now this has become big business.

So I ask you, can an adult man, with no kids of his own, and only a distant memory of his own childhood create a toy that pleases kids? Doubtful, I can barely please other adults.

Happy Tuesday All!

Florence Frighteninggale

2010-06-07T04:44:00.000-07:00

On Friday my friend Chris wasn't feeling well and asked Jen to drop him off at the emergency room before work. Finally late in the afternoon, he called to tell us they were going to operate and remove his apendix. So my posse and I (Jen & Danny), headed into Boston Medical Center to visit Chris fresh out of surgery. (Note to me readers, never kidney punch a patient after apendix suregery, they apparently don't enjoy it). Then my fello caregivers and I headed to dinner.

Since Chris was getting out the next day, I volunteered to pick him up. Really because both Jen and Danny had dates and I had nothing going on in my own life. I picked up my friend and I wondered did this bitch have his appendix removed so he would be even thinner for gay pride. God the pressure to stay thin in this lifestyle is tough!

I picked up Chris and then Jen had been blown off by her date (he feigned illness...I would to if I had to eat with Jen), and the three of us went out for a quick bite, where I literally ate so much I made myself sick.

We took the patient home and got him settled for his long needed rest.

Some say hero, I say I am just a man!

Friday the 4th

2010-06-04T04:18:00.001-07:00

OK I know my cats get a lot of play on my blog. After all, I write about my own trivial existance, and they are right now the only ones I share my life with. Hmm, what a sad statement that is...lol.

So last night was pretty much a typical evening in my house. I ran over to my sister Carol's for about 20 minutes to see a new picture she bought for her living room, came home around 9, laid out my clothes for work, washed up, watch a little tv, and headed to bed. All in all not that exciting a night.

At 2 a.m., because I am an old gay man, I had to get up to pee. Now I look just like a zombie at night when i head to the bathroom. I walk down the hallway tilted, smashing into walls, and attempt to do all of this in the dark so I don't wake myself up. On my route last night, I came across what I thought could only be Michael Myers. While navigating the bedroom in the dark, I felt a slicing pain rip across my foot. My brain only half functioning, and the fact I think I may have still been in some form of REM sleep, I realized that an intruder must have broken into my home, slipped under the bed, and waited for this prime opportunity to take a hunting knife and cut my achiles heel. As I fell to the floor, hitting my head, and tripping over a pair of sneakers, i wondered what was happening. Then I felt the cold breath of the killer as he loomed over my face. Obviously my killer liked seafood, as I could detect the smell of tuna on his breath. I must remember this fact if I survive this knife attack so I can tell the police.

Then another stab wound sliced into my arm. I remember thinking who could hate me this much to continually stab me on my bedroom floor. I am sure you have heard where people near death some how summon super human strength to save their life. Deftly jumping up and still somewhat unbalanced by the dark, my blood loss, and the fact that I still had to pee, I managed to snap on the light. There stood my attacker. Orange and 8 inches high. I don't think Mo'nique would have won that oscar if anyone had seen how I snapped. Screaming, swearing, and threatening to kill this maniachal, claw wielding psychopath.

Then in an effort to either calm me down, or because this cat is obviously brain damaged, he began purring and rubbing himself on my leg. I screamed so loud that not only did Pete tear out of my room at a speed that would have challenged a jaguar, Nina did the same.

I hobbled to the bathroom and as I was peeing, i was tring to stop the blood flow from staining my bath mat. By the time I broke out the bandaids, cleaned up the crime scene, and hobbled back to bed, I was wide awake.

Struggling to fall back asleep, my attacker then jumped up on the bed and decided to sleep face to face with me....tuna breath stronger than ever. Does anyone know a cat psychologist?

The Lesbian Couch

2010-06-03T04:39:00.000-07:00

The title of this blog, really has nothing to do with my blog entry. I was just curious what I would get for an image when I googled lesbian couch. This is a private joke between friends.

Last night, I got a call from some friends who wanted to stop by for a drink. They asked me if it was too late as it was 8:20 pm. I realized I may in fact have developed a reputation as an old fart. Now I do get up every day at the ungodly hour os 5:15 am. Truth be told I am always a person who needed his sleep. As I get older, I find the early wake up is kicking the proverbial shit out of me. On most Friday nights I am fighting to stay up after 12.

But come on people, I can still manage drinks at 8:20...lol. Maybe I need an image overhaul. I see some bad ass clothes, inserting some new reckless behavior like staying up til 12, and perhaps, I will even saunter into work late one of these days. Why? Because I am a bad ass!

Look out world, crazy behavior and lesbian couches in this tough guys' future!

Last Night I Went To The Prom

2010-06-02T04:43:00.001-07:00

You are probably wondering how an elderly gay man attended a high school prom. Well in Stoneham every year when the kids go to the prom, they normally hold an event in the middle of town where they announce the kids and their dates. They appear under a flower encrusted arch and photos are taken and cheers ring out from the crowd. Then after the event the kids pile in their limos or buses and are whisked off to the event.

Last night my niece Jacqueline went so I raced out of work and headed up to Stoneham high. This year due to inclement weather, the event was held in the gym. It was not unlike a steam sauna and I was wondering if the girls were freaking out about their hairdos.

One by one the couples were announced and an assorted variety of couples took their moment in the spotlight. The high school athlete and his cheerleader girlfriend, the nerds, the occasional closeted guy or girl, and the smarties. They all looked so cute and I was transported back to my own prom night. You probably won't believe this but standing next to me was a girl that I doubled to my own prom with. Her son was one of the kids that was graduating. We shared some memories of our own prom night...hope these kids were better behaved.

Happy Wednesday All!

Mini Redesign

2010-06-01T04:14:00.000-07:00

This weekend Raul (The best contractor on the World), came over and laid my new floor in the basement. It looks great and i got a great deal on it, so all in all it was not to pricey a fix. Raul discouraged me from putting the vinyl wood flooring in the bathroom so he sent me out yesterday to shop for some tile.

I decided on slate and got an unbelieveably good deal on the tiles I bought. It was $57 for the materials to lay the floor. First, I have to have the hideous blue tiles in the shower painted white, and then he can lay the tile. Apparently slate stains very easy, so I am going to have to seal it. Once it is sealed it should be good for a long time, as we have never used the bathroom downstairs once since I moved in the house. I am excited, because once the tiles are sprayed, the slate is layed, and the walls are painted, this room with be finished. Then we can turn to the real project. We are completely renovating the upstairs bathroom. We are taking it down to the studs, stealing a little bit of room from my linen closet and it should be off the hook!

Good thing I am gay, not sure many straight men get this excited over re-design. Happy Tuesday All!

The Illusionist

2010-05-28T04:06:00.000-07:00

Today at work we are having a casual day. I am wearing a pair of jeans and a polo shirt. I have been at work for 20 minutes and three people have already mentioned how skinny or thin I am. God Love NH....lol.

I can't tell them, but as we all know, there is a vast difference between gay thin and straight thin. I don't even like to take my shirt off when I am alone, never mind when I am in full view of anyone. As a matter of fact, Nicole Ritchie and I have desperately been trying to bring the moo moo back. So far we are not winning.

I find it comical that I am wolfing down a very fattening croissant as I am typing about people telling me I am thin. Summer is officially upon us, and I am dreading going to the beach. Well that was until this morning, now I have decided I will be sunbathing in the good old state of NH.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend Everyone!

The Unexpected Guest

2010-05-27T04:14:00.000-07:00

Last night I had to call the Geek Squad to fix what I thought was a minor issue with my PC. I ended up spending an hour and twenty minutes on the phone with the technician. While on the phone my cats were acting insane. Running from one end of the house to the other, looking out the windows, hissing, arching their backs. I assumed it was our friendly gang of neighborhood turkeys that sometimes pop by for a visit.

Finally freed from my computer nightmare, I was getting my dinner ready when I heard an odd whimpering sound. I checked on my cats, their fur was inexplicable. They looked like victims of static cling. I looked out on my deck and there was the cutest puppy, not unlike the one in the photo.

I brought him in, and he had no name tag. I called the Stoneham police and they told me they would send a car when they could. My new friend, I called him Buddy and I had some fun playing with each other. My cats on the other hand, looked like they needed hospitilization.

About 30 minutes after my find, my doorbell rang. I assumed it was the police, but, it was a mom and her little girl asking me if I had seen a puppy. I produced the little guy and I would say few love stories have seen a reunion like this one.

Reunited, little girl and Puckers as i found he was named, left very happy to be reunited. I must say, puppies are a lot of fun, but, in the brief period he visited, he peed on my floor, ate all the cat food, and scratched my counter top. Think i'll stick with the cats.

Have a crazy puppy dog kind of day.

New People with heART

2010-05-26T05:09:00.000-07:00

Last night Jen and I attended Kristen's wife Christy's art show in Manchester, NH. The girl has some talent, and that is good, because if she stunk I still would have had to lie and pretend I liked it.

The painting on this blog was actually my third favorite. For some reason I couldn't upload the one I loved, which was more of a city scape, and I don't have a picture of my absolute favorite which was a painting of the 1930's New York skyline. She then took old newspaper articles from the 30's (all NY related), and adhered them to the front of the buildings.My decriptive powers are not doing it justice, but, trust me when I say, it would definitely be a conversation piece in your homes.

I also just had a nice time mingling with all the guests. Many I knew, but also some people I had never met before. Kristen and Christy did a great job preparing for the event. There were appetizers, and there was just some great energy in the room.

I wish I knew more artists so I could go to one again~!

Floored By Bad Service

2010-05-25T04:38:00.000-07:00

As my readers know, a few months ago when it rained for 3 days straight, I ended up getting water in my basement. That water ended up damaging the laminate flooring I had down there so bad, that it all ended up buckling. I spoke with Raul (The best contractor in the world), and he suggested I order a vinyl floor like the one in the picture.

Should I get water damage again, the floor will not get damaged as vinyl is a resilient product and won't warp.

I went to home depot and ordered a floor. It took 3 weeks for it to come in. When it arrived, I asked my nephew to pick the floor up for me and drop it at my house. When I got home, I was fairly certain they gave me the wrong floor. Last night I went to home depot and did in fact verify that the floor they gave me was wrong.

Now the gentleman that helped me at home depot was very helpful. He looked up the floor I wanted on the computer and told me they had 60 cases. Yay I needed 24. However, we were only able to locate 13 boxes of it. Boo, I needed 24. Now unlike some of his colleagues, this guy looked every where in the store he thought the flooring could be. He got ladders, climbed shelving, etc....but he never did turn up the missong 47 cases. He has been the only HD employee who has given me good service during this process.

I went home and thought about returning the flooring, but, the floor I ordered is only a shade lighter. I decided to just keep the floor, although I am not loving it. I figured why have to wait an additional 3 weeks for new flooring to be ordered. After all, I rarely if ever and even go in my basement. Still I am a little irked that they ordered the flooring wrong in the first place.

Happy Tuesday Folks!

Grass Dilemma

2010-05-24T04:37:00.000-07:00

So I have been weighing the idea of getting a landscaper to come cut my grass. Now truth be told, when it's a beautiful day, and I don't have to much to do, I don't really mind cutting my grass. Sometimes, I even like it. There is a sense of accomplishment in a job well done, and when I survey my work when it is completed, I beam with homeowner pride.

With that said, there are some weekends when I am really busy, and those weekends it would be nice to have someone else do the work. I had a landscpae company come give me an estimate last week. They quoted my $45 per cut. That is $180.00 per month. I need to weigh out the pros and cons of parting with $180 of disposable income per month.

On the pro side, they would take away my grass clippings, which, would in fact be helpful as we have a town dump with very sparse hours and finding time to take my grass there isn't very easy. It is actually very challenging if you have a normal 9-5ish schedule like myself. So no trips to the dump and no worrying about smelly grass in my garage would be great.

But $180 per month is a lot of money, and, I feel almost like I should not be so lazy and just do the work myself. Truthfully, the actual cutting of the lawn takes about an hour, it is the edging, cleaning, etc that adds time to the chore. I may see if I can get another estimate and am thinking about having them do it twice a month and i can do it twice a month. Parting with $90 a month doesn't seem as bad.

I am still working out in my head.

Happy Monday All!

Re-Decorating

2010-05-20T04:45:00.000-07:00

This is a photograph of a new piece of art I got for my office from Artist Hans Paus. The chairs in my office are a hideous orange color, so I wanted to select a piece that tied in that color scheme, but, also something that spoke to me.

I know you can't see the intricacies in this photo, but, I love this piece because it is three dimensional and I really like the punch of color. I had had some black and white photos hanging there before, but, they just weren't doing it for me.

Now I know art is very subjective, and you can fit what I know about art in a thimble. But sometimes, things like this just speak to me. I hemmed and hawed over buying it because it was $60 and I really didn't want to spend that much on art for my office, but, after several weeks I decided to bite the bullet and make my 5oth trip to HomeGoods.

I like my new purchase, and truth be told, it makes me happy. Hope all of your workspaces are as nice.

Have a Happy Thursday!

Life is Short

2010-05-19T05:10:00.000-07:00

I came into work yesterday and heard that one of our employees husbands died of a heart attack at 34. Just a horrible story, and I feel so bad for the wife. I saw her crying as she left the building yesterday, and felt so powerless to help her. I didn't even stop to offer her my condolensces as she was so overwrought.

This morning I asked one of the girls here how she was doing. They told me she is not doing well. It seems she and her husband had been having a fight and they hadn't really spoken in the two weeks prior to his dying.

I can imagine how that type of thing could happen to a lot of people, and I can imagine how angry she is that the last words between them were words of anger.

Life really is short and you never know when your number is up. Take a moment and count your blessings today. Let the people in your life know how much they mean to you, because you just might not have the opportunity tomorrow.

An Open Thank You Letter

2010-05-18T04:47:00.000-07:00

I want to thank the person who confused my ATM with a bathroom. At first I thought that the finger painting was a bit much, but then I saw how you artfully were able to take your fecal matter and draw a picture of what I think may have been Arlen Specter.

Luckily, Bank of America has the heat on full blast in this particular ATM, so the smell was so god awful I almost threw up right next to your....err let's call it your deposit.

It was so nice of you to take your poop and smear it over every key and the screens of not one, but, both ATM's at this location. Normally, I am a reserved person who saves pooping for a more private place. I applaud your decision to drop trou in a glass cube on a busy street, and just do your thing. I also want to thank you for not being stingy, because even though it dried up from the desert like heat in the ATM, I did get a wiff of your pungent urine as well.

You have now given me a new mission in life. And thank you because my proverbial to do list just wasn't long enough. Now I can think of a new ATM to fit into my morning routine.

Hey Picasso, thanks for the art lesson!

Manly Productivity

2010-05-17T04:09:00.000-07:00

The weather this weekend was so beautiful that it was nearly impossible to stay inside. So Sunday, I woke up ready for some tough manual labor. First I cut the grass, bagged it up, and cleaned up the glass clippings. Then I had to weed the garden, cut off all the dead tulip stems. Then I went and bought assorted plants and replanted them into the garden. Then I mulched up all the flower beds. The whole thing took me about 6 hours. The picture above was taken at 6:30 am, so it doesn't look that pretty in the cold light of morning, but, you get the idea.

Later I did 3 loads of laundry, picked up my house, had dinner of salad and steak I cooked on the BBQ and then settled in to watch the Survivor Season Finale. Great weekend and awesome Sunday.

Let's hope all of our Monday's will be as productive.

Happy Monday All!

Desperately Seeking Suzanne

2010-05-14T04:20:00.000-07:00

I love the tv show House Hunters! I love real estate and as a gay man, I am required to watch HGTV for 10 - 15 hours per week in order to still be a card carrying member of the gay community.

Suzanne was able to do the job without be overly cheesy and managed to stay below the annoying host/hostess radar. I started worrying about Suzanne a couple of years ago when Star Jones was leaving the view. Her gay husband Al Reynolds must have talked her into a brief appearance, and Star replaced Suzanne for a week. I find Star Jones voice grating and was glad when she left. Then HGTV, started using real people. You know every day folks eating deep dish pizza near Wrigley Field, discussing waht house would be purchased. Although they were not good, I think it was at this time, that HGTV, myself, and probably Suzanne realized she was very replaceable. Then all of a sudden, Suzanne just disappeared from the show.

I know Suzanne is a stand up comedienne, but, I have never heard her act, and figured Suzanne and I would no longer have any contact.

Well wipe that sweat from your brow, Suzanne & I are back together. We linked up on Facebook, and I am sure Suzanne is just as relieved as I am that we are back in touch.

Happy Friday All, and Suzanne here is little wink just for you ;)

Busy

2010-05-13T04:44:00.001-07:00

Today I have a very busy day. Sometimes I purposely set up my schedule so that i have an appointment every single hour. Although it makes my day harried, it also makes my day fly by.

Today I may have bit off more than I can chew. Not only am I extremely schedulized, but, just found out I am being invited (read mandatory attendance) for some meetings. I am unsure how I am going to fit this all in, but, I have also learned that everything has a way of working out. My first appointment has already arrived early, which should in fact, give me an edge to get some additional things incorporated.

Hope you all have a productive day as well!

New Kids On The Block

2010-05-12T04:33:00.000-07:00

Meet Danny and Norman's new kids. They are as yet un-named, I think Danny & Norman are hoping that they get a glimpse into each of their personalities, so they can come up with a name that fits them. Jen desperately wants to be involved in the cat naming, and, pipes up with a variety of name suggestions. Her last one was Othello, I imagine Norman & Danny will ignore her from that point on...lol.

I met the cats the day they arrived at Norman and Danny's house. They were still becoming acclimated to their new digs and seemed a little nervous. I think the picture above shows they are settling nicely into their new home.

Danny & Norman were displaying many signs of new parents. Overly protective, nervous, and beaming with pride. I think it's great the cats were able to remian together, and I wish the new family well!

Happy Wednesday All!

Today I Am a Fat Man

2010-05-11T04:16:00.000-07:00

I love donuts. I absolutely do. I could eat them everyday....I could, but, I never really allow myself to have one. Somebody once told me it takes 3 days to digest a donut. I have no idea if that statement is rooted in fact, but, it always stuck with me. Naturally donuts are delicious, because they are in fact fattening. That staement is rooted in fact.

This morning when I woke up, all of my bananas were still green and not quite ripe enough to eat. I am not sure if it was my hunger, the fact that the donuts looked so good, or just the fact that I wanted to indulge myself, but I bought an old fashioned donut. When I was a kid we just called them a plain donut..maybe that makes me old fashioned as well.

Of course, I didn't even enjoy the donut as all I could think of was how many calories I was consuming and the fact that this donut "allegedly" will now be with me for 3 days.

Still a donut and a cup of coffee are a good match!

Have a happy Low Cal Tuesday!

Nice Surprise

2010-05-10T05:19:00.000-07:00

I was suppossed to have plans with someone who blew me off for Saturday night. I made a back up plan, but then something happened that was very surprising and very enjoyable.

It is funny how sometimes a chance encounter with fun can happen when you don't expect it.

Have a wonderful wMonday everyone! Remember, everything happens for a reason.

Oh Happy Days

2010-05-07T07:59:00.000-07:00

Good Morning Blogland! It is a beautiful day and even more beautiful as I am officially divorced. (Well in reality it will be official 4 months from today), but there is no raining on my parade today.

I guess you could say I had the 7 year itch as we were married for 7 looooooooooooong years.

My wife and her girlfriend were downright giddy as they plan to marry when the divorce is final. As for me...I am thrilled to be free.

Happy Friday All

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

2010-05-06T04:18:00.000-07:00

Tonight Chris, Danny, Jen and I are going to the Red sox game. I haven't been to a game in years...many many years. Growing up my Dad had season tickets and we went all the time. Since my Dad died, we sell most of the tickets as they are prohibitively expensive. The seats are great and right behind first base. It wasn't until last year, that I got wind that my family had been holding out some tickets from the ones we sell so we can occasionally go to a game.

Now that I am aware we have tickets, I figured I should partake. I am looking forward to a dinner of peanuts, popcorn, and crackerjax. After all, why should I eat differently tonight than I do every other night of my life. :)

So if you are watching the game on tv, look behind first base for the 3 fags and their hag. Cuz it's one, two, three strikes your out at the old ball game.

Have a grand slam kind of day

New Addition

2010-05-05T08:45:00.001-07:00

This cute kitten is just symbolic, he is in fact not the real thing. But the news is soon, Pete, Nina, Mia, (the late Miller Carroll and the late Nola Shelly), and of course Thor White will be getting a new friend.

Dan Clancy and Norman Tiburcio are going to be the proud parents to Baby Kitty Clancy-Tiburcio. Norman doesn't read my blog so no threat in ruining the surprise. Danny is getting Norman the cat for his birthday.

I am so excited because we are going out Friday for Norman's birthday. I was trying to think up a good gift for him and it hit me last night. Kittiewares. I got him a littler box, kittly litter, 4 bowls, a scratching post, some toys, and a pooper scooper.

Baby Kitty Clancy-Tiburcio is going to live in style!

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How Nice

Bad Customer Service Part 400

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Trapped Like a Cat?

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Narcism, Where Can I Get Some?

Ghosts in My Ceiling

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We Don't Call Them Fat Ladies

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Goodbye Old Friend

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